It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
