It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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