am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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