I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
