he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
