Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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