throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
