do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
