I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
