We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
