I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
