On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize