Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
