So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
