So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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