Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
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