I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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