Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just want nice things and good sex
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
