What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
