i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize