i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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