Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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