Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
