just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
