so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
