If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
