I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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