how can u be prego again
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
It's never too late to be topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize