im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
