eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
People in love make me want to vomit
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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