ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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