You're my little dorito
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
