I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
