dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
