Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
