I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My ass is underappreciated
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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