hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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