her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
