I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
