I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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