dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
