remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
