Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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