I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
