she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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