I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
