Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
