ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
