My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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