That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
