I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
