yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
God, I missed his penis.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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