I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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