Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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