how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Green mimosas i think yes
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
