I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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