It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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